i AM someone's HERO!

Prepare?

2005-12-01T20:50:00.000-07:00

We were told today to prepare. But how does one prepare? How does any person prepare for the death of their Mother?

She was diagnosed with breast cancer nearly 17 years ago, she has been a fighter every step of the way. Seems she lost the "fighter" power a few weeks ago. She's not getting better - a little worse with each passing day.

Please pray - pray that I have the strength to make it thru without her.

What will I do?

2005-11-04T22:14:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness ...

I went over to see how Crazy Legs was doing and where he was at and I noticed that he is just about due to show up on my doorstep.

I am a little worried. I've been reading that this crazy frog loves his drink and also smokes. He is going to go friggin' nuts here, as I don't drink nor smoke. I am hoping I will be a good hostess. I haven't the froggiest, I mean foggiest idea where I am going to take him or what we will even do. Sheesh he is probably going to think I am boring as heck and DEMAND he be shipped to the next stop the moment he steps out of his box. Oh, I hope not. I am a mess now with worry. I must get busy and clean up my dive so he doesn't tell everyone what a damn slob I am. I am so nervous. What if he doesn't like me or my family? What if he sneaks out in the middle of the night in search of a bottle and then I can't find him. Oh, that would be horrible. Oh my gosh. What would I do? What would I tell the others? I am a wreck, I really am.

I must go now. I wonder where the nearest liquor store is? Maybe I could get him a wine cooler from the nearest 7-11. Would that be good? Is a wine cooler as good as a shot of tequila or a margarita? How about cigarettes? What brand? Would he notice the difference if I bought him a pack of the pretend ones? I used to like them. Maybe he will, too. But what if he doesn't. Then what? Oh, I can tell this next week awaiting his arrival is going to be hell for me.

Please, oh please, Crazy Legs don't think I am a boring hostess. Please!

A word of caution ...

2005-10-30T21:58:00.000-07:00

I am still alive - but just barely.

I've been recovering after spending nearly a week in the hospital, which also required a 2 day stay in the ICU. To anyone who is in need of a root canal - do not, and I repeat DO NOT have the procedure started until you've been a full 10 days of antibiotics. This is why I was in the hospital. I needed a root canal, was put on antibiotics, when the pain was much worse the next day the dentist decided to start the root canal. By doing so he opened a can of worms, or in my case a whole lotta infection. The infection that was in my tooth spread thru out my body and when my family couldn't get me to wake up the day after the procedure I was rushed to the hospital. Just an FYI to those out there - be aware.

I am still really week - almost a week after the fact. But I am slowly starting to get back to normal - if there ever was a normal around here.

Ok, that's all. I am heading to bed.

Happy Halloween, all! Nite ...

The Phantom Ghost

2005-10-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

We were hit by "The Phantom Ghost" this evening. I am glad we got it early this year because last year we got it 4 days before Halloween and it took us 20 minutes to find 2 neighbors who hadn't gotten it yet. Jordan went trolling the neighborhood this evening to see who he wants to get the "Ghost" next (tomorrow night).

What's "The Phantom Ghost" you ask? It's a fun activity that our neighborhood has been doing for about 5 years now. This evening we were sitting around watching TV and the doorbell rang. It was rather late (about 9pm-ish) and we couldn't figure out who it could possibly be. So, we all jumped up and scurried to the door. Low and behold on the porch sat a bag of candy (snickers), tucked half way underneath the bag of candy were two pieces of paper. One piece had a picture of a ghost, the Phantom (a cute kid friendly one), and the other piece had this poem ...

The Phantom Ghost
The Phantom Ghost has come to town,
To leave some goodies as I see you've found.
If you do not wish a curse to fall,
Continue this greeting, this phantom call.
First, place this Phantom where it can be seen,
And leave it there 'til Halloween.
This will scare other Phantoms who may try to call,
Be sure to participate - you'll have a ball!
Second, make 2 treats, 2 Phantoms, and 2 notes like this,
Deliver them to 2 neighbors who might have been missed.
Don't let them see you, be sneaky and quick,
The hardest part is deciding whose house to pick.
Third, leave at the door where there is no light,
Ring the doorbell, run, stay out of sight.
Be happy, have fun and come join the season,
The best kind of tricks are the ones that are pleasin'.
And remember this one very important fact,
YOU ONLY HAVE ONE DAY TO ACT!

It's a fun little activity and it's always fun to drive around the neighborhood to see who's been hit yet. We started seeing the Phantom up in windows this weekend. And Jordan kept saying he hoped we didn't get it late like last year. When we figured out what the ringing of the doorbell was Jordan was acting like a kid on Christmas.

He insisted that he leave, that very minute, to drive around to see who he was going to give his 2 treats to. So, I have the fun task of making 2 copies of the poem, and 2 copies of the Phantom, and going to buy 2 bags of candy. Jordan wants a bad of Reese's and a bag of Junior Mints.

In years past Jordan hasn't really be involved in the delivering of the Phantom, but last year he wanted to be. And this year, when we saw the first Phantom on Saturday, he immediately said he wanted to be one who did it all (picked the houses & treats). He is a hoot.

We've got our Phantom hanging (taped) up on the frontroom window, for all to see that we've been visited, so everyone can see that he's already here and so he won't come again. I have no idea who started this whole "Phantom Ghost" thing, but it's been such a fun activity that's been going on in our neighnorhood for 5 years now, and it's something we've been looking forward to each year since.

If you don't have a "Phantom Ghost" in your neighborhood please think about starting one. It's fun to see the excitement on all the kids' (both young and old) faces when they've been visited.

It's late ... nite.

Is it English or German?

2005-10-06T22:08:00.000-07:00

First, it is F.R.E.E.Z.I.N.G!!! here. We went to Jordan's football game this afternoon and froze our butts off. Even with it being in the afternoon it was still cold. But they won - by the skin of their teeth - it was a VERY good game though, despite all the fumbles each team gave away.

After the game we came home and had a yummy pot of soup waiting to eat. I fixed tortellini soup for dinner and it was the best. Just what we needed after a freezing football game. It was the first time I'd made the soup but I must say that it was delicious. So much so that everyone asked for seconds and then asked when I was making it again?

Since coming back from my trip on Monday I've been fixing dinner every night. I really enjoy cooking, and especially all the compliments I get when it turns out being yummy.

Before the football game I met with Shawn to discuss Jordan's midterm report. When he handed it to me and I read who Jordan's English teacher was I about crapped in my drawers. Jordan got A's & B's except in English, to which he posted an F. Now I would normally be worried/upset/something, but after reading who his teacher is I ... well, I sort of laughed.

Jordan goes to the same High School that Shawn and I went to. And he's gotten a few teachers that his parents once had as well. What is shocking is that his ENGLISH teacher this year was my GERMAN teacher some years ago. Back then she was fresh off the boat and you could barely understand her English, which made it really hard to understand what in the hell she was saying. Can you guess what Jordan's number one complaint is about his teacher? HE CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IN THE HELL SHE IS SAYING!!!

Ok, so it's been quite a few years since I was in her class, barely passing myself, but how in the hell does a German teacher (who hardly spoke a lick of English) get to be an English teacher? I mean, I know how - but it just seems odd that she's teaching such a subject, not to mention she was an old blister then I can only imagine what a bitty she is now.

Can you guess where I am going tomorrow morning? Yep, straight to Jordan's councelor (who also happens to be my old councelor) and getting some answers. I know it could possibly be all Jordan's learning disability that is causing the F, but I want to hear this hootenanny speak and HEAR for myself.

After going to the school in the morning I have a team meeting at work, and then the varsity game tomorrow night. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day/night.

Short Fall

2005-10-05T20:22:00.000-07:00

Fall lasted about 2 weeks here in Utah. Last night it got down to 38* and it snowed in the mountains. Brrr ...

Goodbye Fall, Hello Winter.

Hot damn!!

2005-09-26T23:53:00.000-07:00

He is so freaking hot. Let me help ya with that shirt there, Billy ...

awww ... so nice on the eyes!

Trisha, Reba, Peeps and a pic

2005-09-26T19:27:00.000-07:00

I went out and bought Trisha Yearwood's newest CD this afternoon. Love, love, LOVE IT!! There isn't a single song on there that I don't like. I really like 'Pistol' and 'Gimme The Good Stuff.' All the songs sound so like Trisha, yet it's unlike anything she's recorded - at least in my opinion. I am glad I spent the money and finally got it. The last CD I bought (Faith's) wasn't worth the money I spent on it - so it was returned. :)

Speaking of CD's, I can't wait until next Tuesday, when Sara's new one comes out. I've been waiting for too long for this one. Also, can't wait until November when Reba's #1's comes out, too. Oh, and not to forget that season 2 of Reba will be out in December. I watched "the beginnings" on Sunday and laughed my rear off - again. Man, I love that bunch of peeps so much.

Ok, so while we're on the topic of "new things," I need to add that I bought the latest flavor of Pop Tarts - strawberry milkshake. YUMMY!! Tasted like the real thing. Of course, I need to mention that the newest flavor of Peeps - chocolate - is good, too. Not YUMMY!! like the Pop Tarts, but they were good.

Dammit, so much for my diet now, huh? Pop Tarts and Peeps all in the same sentence, and all tasted on the same day. Shit, and an upcoming road trip. Looks like the diet is on hold for a few. I'll promise to be good AFTER Halloween.

That's all ... I've got some ghost and pumpkin Peeps waiting to be inhaled.

Wait ... here is my handsome son last weekend at his Homecoming Dance ...

Ok, now that's all ... nite.

The real Martha?

2005-09-25T20:58:00.000-07:00

I watched the Martha Stewart movie on TV this evening. Now, I will admit that I didn't follow the trial, nor did I ever watch a full episode of her show, so I really don't know what she is like - but the beginning of the movie sort of portrayed her as a bitch. Is that how she really was/is? Or was it just the way they made her come across?

Visitor coming ...

2005-09-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

Sometime in the next several months I am going to be having a "special" visitor come stay at my house. I am going to show my visitor around my town, take it to work with me, introduce it to my family, possibly even let it go to church with me. I am so very excited and am looking forward to the day my visitor comes to my city.

To find out more about my "special" visitor head on over to From My Pad To Yours. And if you'd like you can sign up to host this "special" visitor.

Nothing else to say ... except my 3 week vacation starts tomorrow. Yippee!!

UTAH!

2005-09-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

It's been a LONG emotional day but I wanted to say something.

CONGRATS!! to the Utes for winning tonight, 38-35 over Air Force
(see I told ya I'd do it ... sorry I didn't stay up)

Kudos to "us"

2005-09-21T20:37:00.000-07:00

Who would have thought?

A week ago yesterday, Tuesday September 13th, I was jolted out of my sleep at 4:15 am to the ringing of my phone. We'd been warned of a possible "drill" happening system wide and to be on the look out. That "drill" went off wonderfully. We all patted each other (and ourselves) on the back for an excellent job well done. We got awesome reviews from upper management as well as from the officials who "looked in" on the "drill."

Who would have thought that 8 days later, with the "drill" still fresh on our minds, that what we learned/gained from the "drill" would be put to the test?

Kudos to us all. Job well done!!

I LOVE where I work. Absolutely love it.

He's a keeper

2005-09-20T15:21:00.000-07:00

I am so thankful that I found W. He is so awesome.

Last night I went to his house for FHE and afterwards we were talking, about things in our life. I was shocked when he asked me what I was sending my "buddy" next, as he never really seemed interested before. I told him of the items I had already purchased this week, then I told him that I am sending a package next week that I am still having trouble finding a certain item. Let me explain ... I like to send "themed" packages. With October 1st being National Bake A Cookie Day, I thought that would be an awesome "themed" package. So, I set about to find things to put in the package - cookie mix, cookie cuters, frosting, sprinkles, cookie sheet, oven mit, and a cute childs apron - so my "buddy" can enjoy baking/decorating cookies with her parents. I then got to thinking that maybe I should include something else especially for my "buddy" that had to do with baking cookies. I spent much of the weekend looking for that something, but didn't have much luck.

While talking to W last night about not being able to find the "something else," he started throwing out ideas - most of which I had found a deadend while looking this weekend. Well, I got an email while at work this morning from W. The email made me smile from ear to ear as it said ... "I called Barnes & Noble and they are holding a book with Cookie Monster that is about cookies." He further went on to say that he would swing by there after he got off work to get it.

What a sweetheart, huh?

I think I've unintentionally recruited myself a helper, because he's now wanting to help with my other "themed" ideas.

I think he's a keeper.

I've fallen and I can't get up

2005-09-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

Holy shit, I hurt!!

For the last 3 months I've been meaning to leave a big hefty trash bag full of old clothes out for the Big Brother, Big Sister monthly pick up. However, the last 3 months the bag has remained in my room collecting dust. So, with this months pick up being today I figured the only way I was going to get it out there was to put it in front of my bedroom door so when I got up this morning I would remember to take it up stairs and put it outside on the curb.

No problem, I was thinking, as I plopped that heavy ass bag down last night and shut my door. I hurried into bed and quickly fell to sleep.

The next thing I knew my fat ass was laying face down on the ground and I was feeling pain everywhere.

Shut up, don't laugh.

I hardly ever wake in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, which is why I decided to put the bag in front of my door so when I woke and opened it this morning I would see it and take it upstairs. However, I guess my bladder had a mind of it's own last night - I don't remember getting out of bed or opening the door, but I sure remember falling over that damn bag in front of the door and landing hard.

I lay there for a minute, trying to catch my breath - which had been knocked out of me, and then I got up - luckily I still needed to pee so that hadn't been knocked out of me.

But OH.MY.GAWD!!!! I seriously felt like a haggard old woman. I was all hunched over - my back hurt, my knee hurt, my wrist hurt, and my pinky finger hurt.

After I finally made my way to the bathroom I crept back into my room, kicking and cussing at that mo-fo bag, and got back into bed.

When I woke up this morning - oh dear, me!! I thought I had been run over by a mack truck.

When I got done working I thought I was moments away from my death bed.

Tonight I seriously wish I had died after tripping over that flipping dumb ass bag.

Oh, and the damn thing never made it to the curb this morning either. I think maybe it's next resting place will be in the garbage - if I can make it that far.

Brrr ...

2005-09-10T20:47:00.000-07:00

It's freezing here, and that ain't no lie.

Currently - as of this minute - it's 55* outside. Tonight it's supposed to drop to 47*. Umm ... hello!! That's ONLY 15* above freezing (32*). FREEZING!!

Fall is definately in the air here.

Brrr ...

I got an email from my Chem0Buddy's mom yesterday. It totally made my day. Made me smile. She thanked me for the packages I've sent - she said my buddy loved the bear I sent for National Teddy Bear Day which was yesterday. Made my heart full of happiness. She also told me what's ahead this next week for my buddy. Poor thing. My thoughts and prayers are with the whole family. It's a shame that there even needs to be Chem0Angels. Cancer is so vicious!

Life is good ...

2005-09-08T21:31:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I could be any more happier than I am right now.

I have an awesome job, that allows me the opportunity to work as many hours a week as I want. I get to travel all over for free. I have the bestest supervisor ever. We get the greatest "perks," like an AMEX card simply by being an employee for my company - which shocked me because I don't have the greatest of credit and AMEX is a bitch to get credit from.

I have a fun as hell family. They keep me laughing like no other. We are a whacky bunch - and I wouldn't want it any other way.

I have a wonderful guy in my life who loves me for me, and would do just about anything to see me happy.

I have a 3 week vacation coming up in a little over 2 weeks.

And I am sitting here eating a yummy bowl of frozen raspberry yogurt.

Life is good, I tell ya, LIFE IS GOOD!

Inconsiderate

2005-09-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

When I was in the sixth grade I had a friend, her name was Jenni. We had been friends since the third grade - and best friends since forth. I looked up to her in so many ways. She was just a few months older than I, but she was wise beyond her years. One day after school she had invited me over to her house. As we were walking thru the park towards her house some bullies approached us and started teasing us. I immediately became fearful but not Jenni. She let them taunt us for a few minutes before she piped in that they were "very inconsiderate." Inconsider-what I thought. The boys taunted us for a few more minutes and then started off in a different direction.

Now for a short sixth grader like myself that was a very big word. In fact it was a word I was sure I had never heard before let alone knew the meaning of. So, I asked her in a shy little voice what that word meant. She told me it meant not caring how others felt. Hmm ...

From that day forth I used the word "inconsiderate" every chance I could. Probably even using it when it wasn't appropriate. But it made me feel good to use such a big word. There were even times when I'd have to stop mid sentence to repeat the word in my head to make sure I was saying it right before I'd blurt it out - like I said it was a big word to me.

Today at work the very first call I got was an irrate customer who was using some very colorful words - too bad they weren't BIG words - his tone of voice was obnoxiously (ohh - BIG word) ruff and loud, and was becoming more hoarse with every breath. I let him have his day and when he stopped I quickly asked if he was done. To which he blarred back that he was not, and off he went again. I really couldn't tell what in the hell he was pissed about because he was yelling so loudly - something to do with not being able to check in for his flight online. He rambled on for another minute or so and then ended with, "now I am done, bitch." I quipped back that he was being rude and was met with "well, you're a fuck head."

Damn, my finger couldn't find the release button fast enough. I nicely told him "you're VERY inconsiderate and this call is being released" (which we're required to say when we hang up on someone - and yes, we can release a call when someone says anything like that), and then hit the button.

Sure, I could have told him he was a fuck head, too (and lost my job), but I like inconsiderate better. Today, just like every other time, using that word made me feel good. And after being called a fuck head I think I deserved to feel good.

Thanks Jenni.

Another "buddy"

2005-09-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

In May my Chem0Buddy finished his chem0therapy treatment, so his last day of my being his Chem0Angel was yesterday. I resubmitted my application to get another "buddy" and much to my surprise I got my new "buddy" assignment this afternoon.

I can't believe how much joy this program has brought into my life. I thoroughly enjoyed my first assignment. I got to know much about his family, about his progress - and while I was a little sad to say "goodbye" I was happy that it was because he had "graduated" from the program and not because his cancer had taken him. I do plan to stay in contact with his family. He has a birthday coming up and I will most definately be sending him a little something. I also plan to send a little something for holidays, too.

Now I am looking forward to Angeling my second "buddy." While I was one of the lucky ones to have communication with my first "buddy" (because many Angels don't ever hear directly from their "buddies"), I do know (and am prepared) that this family may not want any contact. That is their given right and I fully respect that. But it doesn't make me any less excited to fulfill my duty as a Chem0Angel.

Jordan had his second football game tonight and I am happy to say that they kicked some booty - 39-7. I am also happy to say that W went and we had a great time. He had us laughing much of the night. Jordan is also getting to suit up for the Varsity game tomorrow night. Which I guess is an "awesome" thing according to Jordan. He said he probably won't play, but he'll be there if they should happen to need him. So, looks like we'll be cheering at the varisty game tomorrow night, too.

I am off work until Tuesday - I am so glad. This week was very trying. The New Orleans airport is going to be closed until at least October 31 - it's now been turned into a place for those who have no where else to go. I will say that our owner has offered to fly into NOLA to help bring displaced people here. I guess it's quite possible that Utah will be a "shelter" for about 1000 people, and our owner has offered some of our planes to fly a few of those people here. Isn't it great when our country can come together in times on need to help out our fellow Americans? I think it is.

Anyway, so I am off until Tuesday and W and I talked tonight about taking a mini vacation to his families cabin up near Bear Lake. It's not a for sure thing yet, but we did talk about it. It'd be nice to get away for a day, but in reality, Bear Lake wouldn't be a place to get away to. I am sure that place will be packed, and there will be more people there than in our neighborhood. I am sure Jordan would like to go because he loves the lake and all lake activities. I guess we'll have to see what happens. I know we'll be back for church on Sunday because W has to give a lesson in Sunday School, so we'd only be gone for roughly 24 hours.

Have I mentioned how much of a sweetheart W is? Well, he is. A HUGE sweetheart. There is so much I could say, but I think I'll save that for my "other" one. lol

Nite ~

Here horsey horsey ...

2005-08-31T21:12:00.000-07:00

I went to the corner market this evening for some fuel. I can't believe I paid $27.00 and barely got 10 gallons of gas. I remember in high school when people were freaking out when it went to a buck a gallon. Sheesh - I'd go back to high school for a full tank of gas under 20 bucks! Dang, the Amish people have some brains. While us other folks are going crazy about the 3 bucks a gallon for gasoline, they are probably sitting back in their horse and buggy laughing their butts off at us. I think I will look into a horse and buggy investment. With the money I saved on gas I could buy me a Hummer by the end of the year. Giddy up horsey sure sounds good about now, don't ya think?

PS ... welcome to my blog "lurker." And FYI the other one stays hushed no matter how hard you try. :) lol

Forgive me Lord, for I have s!nned

2005-08-30T20:47:00.000-07:00

Last night I s!nned. I s!nned BIG time.

So, all day today was spent in self pity over the huge s!n I commited.

Don't really feel like talking about it. Probably never will. Don't know why I even mentioned it here - maybe so I can come back and remember what horrible act I partook in last night. And feel guilty.

Shame. Shame on me!

Katrina

2005-08-28T16:17:00.000-07:00

I have been basically glued to The Weather Channel since coming home from church this morning. I did work 2 hours from 1:30-3:30 this afternoon - but I still had the channel on and muted when I was on a call. Some are predicting 50,000 deaths. Wow! That's a lot. Others are predicting that if the eye crosses over New Orleans that what once was known as the French Quarter will be wiped off the map - underneath 20 feet of water. Wow! While others are saying that one of the evacuation sites - the SuperDome - isn't capable of withstanding winds over 150 MPH, and could possibly crumble, crushing to death as many as 20,000 people inside it's walls. Wow!

I sit here with my mouth wide open, my eyes glued to the TV, my heart hurting for those who live in the areas that will be "hit."

"Wow!" is the only thing I can think to say. This will be devastating!

I know of a young lady who lives just outside of New Orlean's - thankfully I heard from her last night and she and her family have taken shelter 3 1/2 hours away, but I can't help but think about what they will be going home to when all is said and done. Will they even have a home? My whole being just shakes at the thought of what is about to happen.

I know that I will be staying up late tonight - if not all night - keeping my eyes on the TV. I wish I didn't have to work this week. It's tough getting calls from people who have been directly affected because of a hurricane, and having to listen to their horrible stories - of houses lost, of damage to belongings, of death to friend and family, and knowing there isn't a damn thing I can do to help them. All of our flights in and out of NOLA have been canceled until at least Tuesday afternoon - I can imagine it will be longer once Katrina arrives onshore and wrecks her havoc.

I'll be hoping for the best, and praying for Him to spare as many lives as possible.

I need to be "unplugged"

2005-08-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh, I think I am going to die.

I started down the diet road again this week. Haven't done too badly until today. Anyway, so I started the diet thing again and I've been eating fruits like crazy. I really have never been much of a fruit eater. And my body is not used to all the fruits I've been eating this week, I guess, because I am plugged up. Yep, I just said that. And my tummy hurts so bad - and my butt a little, too, because I've been trying to "go" but nothing is happening and I think I've strained a little too much. Anyway, everyone is telling me to eat prunes - hell no! is what I say to that. Now that's one (dried up) fruit I won't eat. So, I sit here in pain and everyone is upstairs talking about going to Cold Stone - and I don't really want to go for a few different reasons.

I think I need to make a trip to the store so I can get me some "runs" medicine.

I did manage to lose 4 pounds this week and I am sure that when I get unplugged I will lose another 4.

UGH!! Did I say that my tummy hurts? Well, it does. Bad!

Did I say that April is a bitch? Well, she is. Bad!

Two faced!

2005-08-26T06:16:00.000-07:00

Oh, no ... it's two faced Ivette!

lol

photo by - JaggersSwagger

Stats for the day ...

2005-08-25T18:03:00.000-07:00

Over 250 calls on hold
Average hold time is 9 minutes
36 flights canceled
5159 people were on those flights
2300 overtime hours offered today thru Sunday

You wanna know how my day went?

It was pretty good actually. I was really surprised at how calm and understanding MOST of the customers were.

Sigh!

Today was J's first JV football game. He actually got to play - quite a bit - despite his hurt ankle. He did hurt it more, though, and is now icing it and wanting to go soak in the hot tub. Sadly they got their butts kicked. 41-0. Oh well, next week is only 7 days away. They did play good ball, however.

Don't ask me what I am thinking of BB6 now. UGH!! I really DISLIKE Ivette and Beau. I really hope somehow one of them is gone next week. They are bad fish in the water.

Go Janelle!

Calgon ... take me away!

2005-08-24T18:24:00.000-07:00

Remind me next year that I need to take a LOA from work from June 1st until November 30th.

I hate hurricane season!! I hate people who think we should save them - and ONLY them - a seat on our plane. Are people THAT stupid to think they are the ONLY ones who try to leave the state when a hurricane is approaching? I hate when people are cussing me out - since I can't cuss back - and I am silently screaming in my head ... hey, fuck you you God damn asshole shit head bitch mother fucker!

I am supposed to go to W's house tonight - he asked me Sunday what all I was doing this week and I told him I was busy every night watching my reality shows and I couldn't "go out." Well, he calls me last night and asked me to go over to his house tonight and he'd watch Brat Camp with me. I said ok, and now I wish I hadn't.

I didn't have a very good day at work (because of God damn asshole shit head bitch mother fuckers!), I am exhausted, I have an icky pain in my right boob, and I want to go soak in the tub. Excuses? Perhaps. But I don't care - I just want to curl up in my jammies, with my fluffy pillow and watch tv by myself. I am such a spoiled brat, this I know.

I've got the phone in my hand and the number is half dialed - the tub is calling my name - I can hear it.

Nite ~

When words fail you ...

2005-08-22T21:03:00.000-07:00

I really don't know what I want to say. I want to say so much. Yet words will not come out.

So, maybe I will just say nothing at all ...

BB6

2005-08-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I will admit that I am a CRAZY Big Brother fanatic. I've been watching the show since the first one, and each and every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday nights my rear is planted on the couch to watch the show. I even get onto the internet and go to sites that tell you what's going on on the live feeds. I usually always know what's happening before the show actually airs - and I like it this way. I am so impatient.

I have to say, though, that this years has been out of control. I mean REALLY out of control. I like Howie and Janelle to death, but I admit they both are acting very childish. I don't like April all that much, but I was starting to feel sorry for her after seeing tonights episode. I want so badly for Janelle, Howie or Rachel to win it, but with as immature as they were last week I just don't see it happening.

However, if Beau really looks at the big picture here he might grow a smart hair and actually nominate one of his own. It it were my ideal show this is how it would unfold. Beau will nominate Howie and Rachel to split them up as a couple
Howie will have Janelle play for POV with him. Rachel will have James play for her. Beau will have Ivette play.
Janelle will win POV, save herself and take Howie off the block. This will force Beau to put up one of his own or James.

James will fight like mad to have Ivette talk Beau into putting Maggie up.
So, then it'll be Maggie and Rachel that they will have to vote to evict.

James will vote Maggie
Janelle will vote Maggie
Howie will vote Maggie
Ivette will vote Rachel
April will vote Rachel
And Maggie will be evicted 3-2.

Then if one of the 3 good guys (as I call them) - Howie, Rachel or Janelle should get the next HOH next week they will want to get April out before Beau or Ivette, therefore Beau and Ivette will be safe for another week. It could work to the advantage of Beau and Ivette, as well as the 3 good guys.

I guess we'll just have to see what happens this week. I really hope Howie and Janelle grow up a few years and stop with the name calling and belittling stuff. It's happened - now they need to focus on being strong to win the next several POV's and HOH's.

Oh, and Survivor starts September 15th and Amazing Race starts September 27th. I guess you can say that I am a Reality TV junkie - and I wouldn't want it any other way. It's all good.

doin' the chicken dance ...

2005-08-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

I am so happy ... I am doing the chicken dance. I now have 3 phone lines down here in my "dungeon" (as everyone here calls it). With working at home I have to have 2 lines - both for work. So, that leaves me internet-less during the day since I can't hook the computer up when I am using both lines (working). So, I ordered another line and now I am able to surf the 'net while I am not busy. I love my job, I tell ya. My mom and I are planning another trip next month and I was able to trade away 66 hours (almost 3 weeks) in less than 48 hours. I now have all but 2 hours of my shifts covered for when we go. I've never been able to give away so many hours in such a short time. I do have to pick up said 66 hours for others through the next 3 months, but that's no big deal.

I don't really know where all my mom and I are going to go. We are talking about possibly doing a road trip along the west coastline. We've been told there are some awesome lighthouses out there. So, we may do that. Or we may head to the mid-west and visit my Uncle and my good friend, Nicole, who had a cute little baby in March. We've got a few weeks to plan.

Remind me when the bill collector calls tonight just why I can't seem to pay my bills. lol Traveling is so much - I am addicted - it's much more fun to play than spend your hard earned cash on bills, right?

Yep!

... click ...

2005-08-16T22:12:00.000-07:00

ha ha ha ha!!!

I love my job. No, really I do. Ok, now there are days when I wish I could quit - but that's just when I am having a bad day. I usually have more better days than I do bad. Like today ... ha ha ha ha ... I got a lady who wanted to go from New York to Florida over the Thanksgiving holiday and she wanted to go for under 200 bucks. ha ha ha ha!!!

First, Thanksgiving is the most traveled holiday. Second, NYC to FLA are the most popular destinations we fly. Third, we've been booking Thanksgiving for months now - you know, first come, first served.

Oh, yes, she did have a few things to say, to which I sat back and let her spiel herself. I then apoligized for not having what she wanted. To which she informed me that she was going to call Delta because they certainly are much lower than we are. I proceeded to give her Delta's number - hell, I was acutally going out of my way to look it up (not really, but you know), when she rudely interrupted me and asked if I cared that Delta was lower than we were. I told her "it's a competitive market out there and if it weren't then no one would be flying." After that I heard the dial tone.

Oh, how I love when people hang up on me.

You live where?

2005-08-15T18:29:00.000-07:00

Found this (click here to read it) over at Michele's.

lol

How would you like to live in a town with that name? Or better yet, how'd you like to be the person that the town was named after? I'd die if I had a last name such as that.

lol

Another one has gone down

2005-08-14T14:01:00.000-07:00

Plane Crash In Greece Kills All On Board

When you work in the airline industry I believe that when any plane crashes, no matter the plane size or the location, your heart seems to skip a beat. Upon hearing about the plane crash in Greece the first thought I had was "I am glad it wasn't one of ours." The second thought I had was of the family and friends of those on board. Once I heard more info about the crash - how it supposedly happened - a sort of panic came over me. To freeze to death on a plane? To run out of oxygen? How scary must that be?

One of the things they tell us during training is that we're never to think "if this happens to us (one of our crafts)," but to think of "when this will happen to us." Thankfully we've had no major incidences thus far. But I'll be the first to admit, I still think of it as "if this ever happens to us." I know ignorant - but I think if I thought the other way I'd never go to work.

I lived thru 9/11 working in the airline industry and it was horrible. I don't want to think about "when" that will happen again. Now that's what's scary.

After being off work for several weeks tonight I start back. What a day to start back - I hope it goes smoothly.

Prayers for all onboard, please.

Hard to believe and a little family intro

2005-08-10T21:40:00.000-07:00

Not too long ago, I don't know if I read it some where or if I heard it, but someone said that in every family there is a druggie. I immediately defended my family because although our family wasn't perfect we were far from having a druggie in it.

I was wrong.

My Uncle Ken who moved to Kansas a few years back is in town this week so my family had a bbq tonight. When my family gets together we have a great time. I don't have a very big family - well, it's sort of big. So you know who all I am talking about maybe I should do a sort of introduction. My Gram and Pumpa (grandpa) have 3 kids - my Mom, my Uncle Ken, and my Aunt Jan. My Mom has two girls, my sister Shelly and myself. My sister has 5 kids. I have 1. My Uncle Ken, who is married to Denise, has 2 daughters - April (who died soon after birth), and Aspen. My Aunt Jan, who has a live in boyfriend - Bob, has 5 kids - Mindy, Melanie, Travis, Chad, and Brady. Mindy, just recently got a divorce, has 2 boys - Tyler, and Anthony. Melanie, who lives in Vegas, has 3 kids - Stephen, Alexas, and Cameron. Travis is married to Alicia and has 2 boys also - Gage, and Jace.

Ok, now onto the meaning of my post. We were all gathered here at my Grandparents house - all except Melanie and her kids, who are in Vegas and couldn't make it up, and Chad. We were sitting around talking, after eating dinner, when someone asked my Aunt where Chad was. I'd been wondering all evening, too, but was too dang afraid to say something, because my Aunt is an alcoholic, and sometimes when you ask her personal info she gets all freaky on you - so I kept my mouth shut tonight. Well, as soon as someone asked where he was she got all teary eyed. She couldn't speak so my cousin Travis told us. Chad is a drug user and has been for several years. Hmmm ... I should have known - last year when I had surgery on my thumb he called me and asked if I had any left over pain meds. He told me he had a sore knee and couldn't afford to go to the dr. to be seen and get meds. I did have a few lortab left over and told him to come get them. Chad was the last person I would have thought to be the druggie of our family so I never thought twice about his story of a sore knee.

Apparently no one has seen or heard from him since last Tuesday. He'd been staying with Travis and Travis came home from work last Tuesday to a bunch of things missing from his house and a missing Chad. He called around to a bunch of Chad's friends and found that Chad took the things and pawned them to pay for a dept he owed a drug dealer. No one will tell Travis where Chad is, so we have no idea where he's at or if he's even still alive.

Tonight, as you can imagine, our party ended much differently than they have in the past. We were all shocked and many of us were in tears.

If you're the praying type can you please say a little prayer for Chad, my Aunt, and our family tonight?

lots better

2005-08-08T20:53:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. I feel so much better.

hibernating

2005-08-07T23:26:00.000-07:00

I basically slept the whole weekend away. With the exception of going to the BMT picnic with my mom (and family) for 3 hours yesterday I spent the rest in bed. I just have no drive to get my ass out of bed - none at all.

I was wanting to watch the shuttle land, but that's still 3 hours away. And I've wandered away from my comfort zone (my bed) already this evening. So, I think I'll shut this neglected computer down and crawl back into my comfort zone.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll start feeling some what human again.

Life sucks right now

2005-08-04T20:08:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have sucked big time around here. I just feel so alone. Even though I have my family around me, and Wayne, and people from church ... I still feel alone. It's a feeling that no one knows ... no one "gets it" ... no one understands where I am coming from. I want to say so much, to so many people, yet I can't. Because all I ever hear is "you can do this, you need to put this behind you once and for all." I cannot tell you how many times I've heard that line ... those words ... in the past year. But no one "gets it." I've tried, believe me, I've tried so many times to "do this." "To put it behind me once and for all." But it's not easy. I can't. I simply can't. And I don't know why, but I just can't. It's like I am still holding out for something ... don't ask what, because I don't know that either ... but there is something there, something that is holding me back. Something that makes me unable to "do this."

All I want to do is curl up in a ball, in bed, and sleep forever. I don't ever want to wake up again. No, at the moment I am not suicidal, I just wish that I could close my eyes and never wake up.

My favorite show was on tonight, and even though I've missed the last 2 episodes, I just couldn't get into it. It was like I just didn't care. I didn't care who got evicted, I didn't care who got HoH, I didn't care what the HG's were saying about each other, and I don't really even care who gets voted back in.

I call feel myself spiraling out of control ... slowly ... life sucks. It sucks right now.

Hmm ... made me think

2005-08-04T16:29:00.000-07:00

Today I read on the back of one of those tire covers a saying that made me think ...

Blaming guns for what happened at Columbine is like blaming spoons for Rosie O. being fat.

Hmm ... yeah, ok then.

To launch or not to launch

2005-07-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

I don't know about anyone else, but I am a little leary about the space shuttle launch tomorrow. Especially since NASA is saying they may have to "bend" a few rules in order to get the shuttle off. That to me sounds very dangerous. They still are unsure of what is causing the malfunction with one of the fuel gauges. Hmm ... sounds pretty risky to me. I sure wouldn't want one of my family members going into space on a "bent" rule. I haven't been one who has been too interested (or fond) of the space program. I just think the U.S. has better things to spend billions of dollars on than walking on the moon or discovering lakes on Mars. I mean, the last failed launch a few weeks ago cost over $600,000. That's a whole lot of loot.

I'll be praying, with fingers crossed, that nothing bad happens.

I wish I wasn't so shy

2005-07-24T17:54:00.000-07:00

The past few nights I've stayed awake pretty late reading blogs. Many blogs. Many entries. And there are many that I've really liked. I just wish I wasn't so shy and would get off my horsey and sign some comments. But the truth of the matter is I am EXTREMELY shy (until I get to know one), and I guess maybe a little afraid of being rejected. Yes, a little immature, I know, but this is still how I am, and I may not come off my horsey for a while. I stayed awake until way too late last night/early this morning reading Random and Odd. Oh my goodness, this woman had me going from one emotion to the next with her blog. I can totally understand a few of the things she is going thru, or has experienced. Especially with the "trust issue." She also is an awesom photographer, something I'd like to think I was. But I am still a little peon, who hasn't switched to digital - one day though, I will. Anyway, I was so close to leaving her a comment because she touched my heart, but I didn't. Yes, because I was scared - afraid of rejection. I mean, I am new to this blogging thing, and to cut to the crap I am just not as interesting as the many I've been reading. My life is sort of boring.

Oh well, I like my life, so I guess I'll just have to accept being a shy peon. One day though, I'll get past that, too. Perhaps one day real soon. I am hoping.

edited: I did it, I did it, I just did it. I acutally came off my horsey and posted a comment - first one. I was sweating though, how pathetic am I? But I am doing the happy dance - yay!

Are you a monkey?

2005-07-22T20:32:00.000-07:00

I have a beef to pick with whoever said that humans and monkeys are a lot alike.

In what freaking way?

Went to the zoo today - hotter than hot outside, but we survived - and I was watching the monkeys. All different kinds of monkeys. What human actually sits and picks bugs off their offsprings/mates hair/body? What human runs around screaming eeekkk-eeekkk-eeewww-eeewww-ahhh-ahhh? What human swings from tree to tree (and don't say Tarzan - we all know he must have been a few fries short of a Happy Meal)? What human lifts the tail of another human and sticks their hand under the butt waiting for a dropping? And then what human takes that dropping and sniffs it, and then plays with it? COME ON!!! There is not a single soul who can convince me that I am A LOT like a monkey. I may do some weird ass stuff, but I certainly don't get my jollys off of rolling human poo poo in my hands and sniffing it. That is down right icky, and simply JUST NOT RIGHT!!